“Sex Is a Gift from God” – And 6 Other Truths about Marriage You Might Not Hear in the Church
Source: blog.madetofish.com
1. Sex is a gift from God – Explore
It
Make no
mistake… God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed
Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight.
I was
never educated about sex… and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for
sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I
still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the
cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.
It is time
for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding
it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me
challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God.
Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.
Parents…it
is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them.
Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11.
Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them.
At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy
a foundation Satan has already built.
Church
leaders… I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too
dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse
to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to
the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is
destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing!
Sex is
a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend
the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married… open this
gift and enjoy the fullness of it.
2. There is more than one person
out there for you
Soul mates
are made… not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but
it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than
perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we
could spend our lives with more than one person.
Tiffani
(my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me.
But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections.
I love her so much. And I love her more every day. I am committed to her.
I meet too
many young people that are waiting for something that is not real.
“I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked
her food.”
“He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch
when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep
looking.”
Or you
might have just missed him or her.
What if
God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect
person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a
person with flaws to expose yours? What if God wants to teach you the value and
life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of
searching your entire life to find the perfect person?
Soul mates
are made… not born.
3. The first year of marriage is
hard… really hard
What have we done?
Are we going to make it?
Why is this so hard?
All
questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We
were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought
something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about
the first year. But take this as a warning… the first year of marriage is
difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about
giving up… congratulations. You are now… married!
But let me
encourage you… do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique.
Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do
not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse)
from years of joy. Stick with it.
4. A spouse does not complete
you
I hate you
Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie.
Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I
let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love
her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do
something she was incapable of doing.
If you are
empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to
your problems… buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those
voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s
job is to complete you.
5. Marry somebody with similar
goals, dreams, and passions
Marry
somebody who is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody
with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some
point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the
same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential
spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise.
Synergy is
extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you,
they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will
encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people
living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.
6. Marriage is not for everybody
Paul talks
about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in
the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then
stay married. He later says this…
So then the person who marries his
fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better. (I Cor. 7:38)
Even
better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to
accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have
talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It
consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from… us. The church. Once a person reaches mid-twenties, we assume
something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a
terrible flaw.
“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not
married? I know this must be hard!?”
Shame on
us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the
pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them
for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus
without a spouse.
7. The wedding day is a lie… don’t
buy it
I love
weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a
divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.
But in an
increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially
dangerous situation.
“Every girl lives for her wedding day.”
It is all
about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them.
Congratulates them.
Many
couples have bought the lie of the wedding day… it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this
mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A
successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a
day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day
is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously.
Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and
celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go
through the storms.
Embrace
your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of
believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone
forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).
This post was written by Frank Powell.
No comments:
Post a Comment