Breaking Free: What I've Learned About Spiritual Abuse

Barbara Mulligan
Associated Editor of STEPS
National Association for Christian Recovery




Image source: apprising.org

While my husband, John, and I felt that we had good reasons for leaving our church home, we didn’t think at first that we had experienced was spiritual abuse.

We had gotten involved in the church knowing that the pastor, Richard, and his wife Jill (not real names), were young and perhaps immature in some ways and that they came from a legalistic background. So from the beginning, we had guarded ourselves from them in the hope of being active in the church community without experiencing a major conflict.

But as we spent the weeks and months after we left, trying to sort out our feelings about what had happened, we wondered if we, along with others, had become the victims of spiritual abuse in spite of trying to keep our eyes open. We wondered if perhaps our eyes had not been open enough. And if we should have responded earlier to the clues like what happened at the first women’s meeting that I attended, held in someone’s home. 

The Taliban and the Tie

Author Unknown



Image source: whisnews21.com

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack selling ties.

A Christian Mother's Response to a Daughter Who Abandons God

By Christine S.K. Lai

Image source: examinedexistence.com

My eldest princess announced to the whole wide world that she had dumped God; she termed it as “coming out of the closet,” likening it to the homosexual who boldly declares to everyone (God included) that he is free to do what he wants with his life. 

Are You A Hero in the Making?

“They didn’t have the details of the Saviour’s birth…yet they still followed Him with courage”

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By David D Sternhagen

As we know, all the heroes of Hebrews 11 encourage us to be faithful as we run our race of faith.

I want to be a hero. I think most people would like to be one. But I want to be one of those heroes who don’t have to do much to get there. I don’t want to be a hero because I was able to suffer a lot of pain for a long time without complaint.

Don’t make me a hero like Abraham, who was told to sacrifice his son. Don’t make me a hero like Jacob who struggled most of his life learning to trust God. Isn’t there some simple thing I can do this afternoon that will make me a hero? Well, maybe. 

God's More Than a Coke Machine

“One of His disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray.’”

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By Michael Marsh

“As I recall my own life of prayer, prayers I have heard and conversations I’ve had about prayer, I can’t help but wonder if the coke machine isn’t our primary teacher of prayer. Think about it. We put in the correct change, make our selection, and get what we want.

“For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

So we offer the coins of our wants and needs, our beliefs, and our good behaviour. We tell God what we want and expect to get what we asked for.

To Be A Living Stone for Christ

The same Jesus whom others have seen as a stumbling rock was actually a precious stone. The foundation is the most important part of any building of which is the chief cornerstone – Jesus.

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By Alan Smith

Back in the days when the Old West was being settled, there were a lot of pioneers who made their way over the Oregon Trail. When they got to the eastern slopes of the Rocky Mountains, they found a stream a little too wide to cross in one step. So they ‘two-stepped’ across by using an ugly lump sticking up out of the water in the middle of the stream.

The Bridge Builder

Image Source: danrmorris.wordpress.com

Born in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, USA in 1860, Will Allen Dromgoole was a prolific author, writing not only novels and plays but also more than 8,000 poems. She was the writer behind the bestseller, ‘The Island of the Beautiful’ released 1911.

‘The Bridge Builder’ first appeared in 1900 allegedly in a book entitled, ‘A Builder.’ It was later a feature of another book called, ‘Father – An Anthology of Verse’ published by EP Dutton & Company in 1931. The poem is often reprinted owing to its popularity but it is in the religious context that it is frequently quoted.

Butchering the Bible Out of Context

Why taking verses out of context is one of the most dangerous things we can do

By Josh Loveless

Image Source: tonyandtawni.com

Though in the Bible in its original form is inerrant, our interpretation of it is not. Being in a position of trying to understand God’s Word is an intense place to stand. How we think about the Bible affects how we think about it applying to our lives.

Though all of us carry the responsibility differently, the weight of seeking to translate the message and the meaning of the story of God requires a sober assessment of what we’re actually reading. And especially how we apply it to our lives.

Why the Peaceful Majority is Irrelevant

History lessons are often incredibly simple

By Paul E Marek

Image source: iowntheworld.com

I used to know a man whose family were German aristocracy prior to World War II. They owned a number of large industries and estates. I asked him how many German people were true Nazis, and the answer he gave has stuck with me and guided my attitude toward fanaticism ever since.

The Tale of the Two Grocers

“You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Deut 25:15).

Image source: scrapetv.com 

A few hundred years ago there were two Christian grocers in London. One of them said to the other, “You know, as Christians, we’re supposed to have honest scales. It says so in the Bible. So how should we do that?”

“Well, I’ll tell you what, I’ll come and check your scales on Wednesdays to make sure they’re accurate and you come on Sundays and check mine. We’ll make sure they’re accurate.”

A Student Named Tommy

'God is love and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him'

The late Father John Powell, a Jesuit professor at Loyola University in Chicago, writes about a student in his class named Tommy:

Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in a subject called, Theology of Faith.

That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. 

I know in my mind that it isn’t what’s on your head but what’s in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under “S” for strange... Very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the “atheist in residence” in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

Veil of Tears - Hope Is On The Way

You can have a part in reaching millions of desperate women with the love of Christ

This gripping new documentary film tells the untold story of millions of women in South Asia who are abused and trampled simply because they are women.

Despite the centuries of oppression, hope is dawning as people begin reaching out to restore dignity towards women, one day at a time.

Do You Pass the Israel Test?

This is a transcript of a video by Prager University that hopefully you'll find interesting. Prager University is an online university of advanced learning. There are no certificates or paper qualifications to earn from them but pure education of the world around us. Here's what they say on their website:

"Prager University is not an accredited academic institution and does not offer certification or diplomas. But it is a place where you are free to learn."

This transcript questions whether you know enough to pass the Israel Test. At the end of the transcript, we have provided you with a link to head over to their site where there is a Course Quiz in which you can complete to see if you have indeed learned as much as you are expected to!  :)

The Seven Truths About Marriage You Don't Often Hear

“Sex Is a Gift from God” – And 6 Other Truths about Marriage You Might Not Hear in the Church

By Frank Powell

Source: blog.madetofish.com 

1. Sex is a gift from God – Explore It

Make no mistake… God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. 

ISIS Destroys Syria's Christian Legacies

Islamists determined to erase Christianity from all the lands of their conquest

Islamist Threat to Christian Relics Illustration by Greg Groesch / The Washington Times 

By Alfred S. Regnery - - Friday, October 10, 2014

The Islamist extremist destruction of historical treasures in the Middle East is nothing less than a crime against civilisation. News accounts do not do justice to the loss these barbarians cause as they work their way across Syria, destroying anything that doesn’t fit into the world as they see it. 

In June 2001, just three months before Sept. 11, when Western perceptions of Islam and the Middle East were changed forever, I spent two weeks in Syria, visiting the very foundations of Western culture and civilisation. 

The Challenge of Massive Abortion Problem in China

© Bruno Domingos / Reuters

By JUNE CHENG
Issue: "China's abortion regime," July 26, 2014

CHINA — The smell of steamed rice and stir-fried beef waft into the simple warehouse converted into a church in northern China. Fans mounted on the walls breathe air into the warm room, as gracious hosts hand visitors cups of boiling water, the drink of choice no matter the weather. 

As two pastors — one American, one Chinese — finished teaching on the sanctity of life, women and men of all ages stood up, sobbing and praying for repentance: 

"Lord, forgive me for aborting my child; I didn’t know it was murder. Lord, forgive me for shedding innocent blood."

For most in the room, this was the first time they had seen photos of foetal development, learned about what abortion entails, and studied what the Bible says about the sanctity of life. A middle-aged Chinese woman with cropped hair approached me with a nervous smile afterwards. 

“Where do the [aborted babies] go?” she asked, eyes watering. 

“I’ve had it done before and was wondering if I’d ever see them again.” 

I mumble in broken Chinese that the babies go to heaven, telling her the story of King David’s child. 

“Oh, that’s so good to hear,” she said.

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