“One of His disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray.’”
Image Source: chicagovendingsolutions.com
By Michael Marsh
“As I
recall my own life of prayer, prayers I have heard and conversations I’ve had
about prayer, I can’t help but wonder if the coke machine isn’t our primary teacher
of prayer. Think about it. We put in the correct change, make our selection,
and get what we want.
“For
everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone
who knocks, the door will be opened.”
So we offer
the coins of our wants and needs, our beliefs, and our good behaviour. We tell
God what we want and expect to get what we asked for.
All that
works fine until it doesn’t. Coke machines are great until they take your money
but give you nothing or give you a Fanta when you select Diet Coke. Look how we
respond when that happens. We get mad. We push the button repeatedly. We hit or
kick the machine. We tip it side to side. We did our part and expect it to its
(part). It’s not so different with prayer. Some will get angry. Some, hurt or
betrayed, lose faith; even leave the church.
I don’t have a lot of people coming to ask me, “Why
was my prayer answered? Why did I receive exactly what I asked for?” I know
prayer is answered. Sometimes we ask and receive, search and find, knock and
the door opens but that is not their concern. They want to know why they asked
but did not receive, why they searched but did not find, why they knocked but
the door never opened. We all do.
I prayed hard that Thursday night we drove. I prayed
with words, silence and tears. With each phone call and update, my prayers
became more desperate. More coins. Push the button again.
“Please, please, please Father.”
When we got there, they told us Brandon had died.
“Ask and it will be given you. Seek and you will find.
Knock and the door will be opened for you.” That’s not just my story. It’s your
story too. It’s the story of everyone who has ever prayed. We’ve all lost our
money on the coke machine at least once.
I don’t know why some prayers seem to be answered and
others seem to go unanswered. I don’t have any good answers or explanations but
I have heard some bad ones.
“You didn’t pray hard enough.”
“You didn’t have enough faith.”
“You were asking for the whole thing.”
“It’s all a mystery and someday we’ll understand.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Something better is coming.”
I can neither believe nor accept any of that. That is
nothing but an attempt to bolster a coke machine understanding of prayer. We’ve
got to let that go; it hurts people, perverts who and how God is.
When I hear those kind of answers and explanations, I
can’t help but remember another man praying on a Thursday night, praying with
words, sweat and blood.
“Please, please, please Father.”
They crucified him the following afternoon. Ask.
Search. Knock.
I don’t understand how prayer works but I know this.
It’s not about coins. It’s not a mechanical process. It’s not a transaction.
It’s not the transmission of information to God.
In the midst of not knowing or understanding maybe the
most and the best we can do is to echo that disciple’s request, “Lord, teach us
to pray.” We are always beginners, always learning to pray. Jesus’ response is
not an explanation of prayer or how it works. He does not offer a formula or
magic words. He does not give us the correct change for the coke machine. Instead
Jesus teaches about who and how God is.
“When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be Your Name.
Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us. And do not bring us to the
time of trial.”
God is holy and we are His divine children, holy sons
and daughters. That’s a given, a reality, before we even open our mouths and
before we ever offer our coins or make a selection. The relationship already
exists. That’s how Jesus begins His teachings. Prayer is about relationship and
presence. We’re not telling God something that He doesn’t know. We’re reminding
ourselves of what already is, always have been and always will be.
That relationship means that our life, our existence,
our very being, comes from our Father. Jesus speaks of that as daily bread. We
are too often convinced that we are or must be independent and self-sufficient.
Prayer reminds us that we are “un-self-sufficient.” We ask each day for our
daily bread. That does not mean we are deficient but that our sufficiency comes
not from ourselves but from God.
It means that God sustains and nourishes our life.
That’s another way of talking about relationship and presence. Those lines
about forgiveness, ours and others? Again, that’s about relationship and
presence, with God and one another. If prayer, as Jesus teaches it, really is
about relationship and presence then, there is only one answer to every prayer.
God.
I don’t just mean God answers our prayer but that God is
the answer; God’s presence, life, love, beauty, generosity, compassion, forgiveness,
wisdom, justice, mercy. God gives His Self as the answer to our every prayer.
Jesus tells us that. If you, He says, know how to give your kids good things,
“how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit.”
Perhaps the greatest difficulty of prayer is that at
times we just want to offer coins and push the button. We don’t want God; we
want some things from Him; we want God to change our circumstances.
While God can and sometimes does change circumstances,
I am increasingly convinced that He, more often than not, changes us. God’s
self-giving sustains, nourishes, empowers, emboldens and enables us to face the
circumstances of life. We do so, sometimes with joy and gratitude, other times
pain and loss, but always with God. On my better days, I know this and that’s
enough. On other days? It’s “Lord, teach me to pray.”
Michael
Marsh is the pastor of the Episcopal Church in West Texas. He has two sons. The
younger one lives in Hawaii. The older one, Brandon, died about four years ago. Michael has his own website, which you can visit at http://interruptingthesilence.com
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