Why Christians Are A Misunderstood Lot
Khen Lim
When churches conduct themselves poorly, Christians become misunderstood (Image source: cnn.com)
How difficult can it be to be a Christian? Easy, you just go
to church often enough, learn to read and understand the Bible, become a
prayerful person, maybe get involved in some ministries or attend a cell group.
You’ll inevitably meet many people who offer you great encouragement to become
a Christian and then one day, you wake up realising you’re baptised! That can’t
be a bad thing, right? Wrong.
Modern contemporary churches consistently have a rush on
shoring up as many people as they can to become members. Working on the numbers
give all of us the impression that more and more people become Christians but
in many hidden cases, this is deceptive, if not wrong, because outright numbers
don’t tell the whole story accurately.
In the end, we’re faced with people who
are disillusioned or simply have no idea about what Christianity actually is.
They think they knew at the beginning but in the end, they are mortified by
what they see, what they learn and what they hear.
Of course, church growth is healthy. It’s always a good thing
when people want to know more about Christ. In fact, it’s even better seeing people
becoming Christians. But manipulating or pressuring people into becoming
Christians is bad especially when they have the wrong idea of what it’s like to
be a Christian. Because of this, we face those who are disillusioned with their
experiences, completely unaware of what to believe anymore. And that can’t be
good for all of us.
As we will be closing our doors forever by year’s end, our
members will also be out there looking for new churches at the start of the new
year. For them, the search and the accompanying experiences may not be too far
different to unbelievers looking potentially to be Christians.
And so with that
in mind, we need to deal with the real parts and the misconceived parts of
Christianity. Hopefully by the time you’re done reading, you might have a
better and clearer picture, encouraged at the same time, to know what to look
for and how to find it.
To do that, let’s look at seven areas in which we commonly face
perception problems:
ONE: The church is so immoral
Many people have high expectations of any church. They mistake
it for being an exemplar of morality but then, they’d soon discover it isn’t
and that’s where the problem grows. In their bewilderment, they want to know
why and how we identify ourselves with such a ‘malignant’ institution.
It’s not just what they see in a church that is bothersome (to
them). It is also what they read and learn about church history that makes them
believe we’re an awful lot of people who deserve to be lynched or burned alive.
Don’t be surprised that they’ll bring out the darker parts of history such as
the Crusades and Inquisition and maybe even the IRA situation in Northern
Ireland, how the missionaries colonised parts of the world including Latin
America, not to mention the embarrassing paedophilia problem.
None of these are incorrect. They did happen and they were
wrong. However these were works of men and not God and they were unworthy of
the Name of Jesus Christ. But we have since moved on from that. It doesn’t mean
we conveniently sweep them under the carpet and so we shouldn’t do that.
However these criticisms are not entirely vindicated for they don’t offer a
complete picture but yet these are what people, more often than not, have
latched on to. Those with a level-headed view of history will talk about how
Christians have given shape to the formation of Europe’s many illustrious
empires and hence contributed to the founding of much of the continent.
Despite the errors of our forefathers’ ways, there should be
greater acknowledgement of what wonderful things Christians have done throughout
the world too but because mainstream media won’t talk about them, many are kept
in the dark about how, as a faith, we have founded the first hospitals and
hospices, orphanages, kindergartens and schools. Christians were also
responsible for abolishing slavery, initiated industrial and prison reforms.
Till today, Christians more so than those of other faith have
been tirelessly working to improve literacy, development, justice and medical
care especially in the needy parts of the world and as they do so, they are
continually inspired by what Jesus said in John 13:13-15:
“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right because that’s what
I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to
wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have
done to you.”
TWO: Christians are a horrible lot
Here’s a fallacy that because we’re all Christians, everyone
expects to find all of us super-nice people. It might come as a surprise but in
fact, we’re no different from anyone else. There’re Christians in our midst
we’re not too fond of and even some we’re desperate to avoid ourselves. We’ve
met some with weird ones too. We’ve also come across Christians who play mind
games, who indulge in church politicking or simply just hard to get along with.
And yet, as Christians, there is the expectation that we are
expected to be like family (in a good way, that is), united in what we share
and not disunited in how different we are. That is what church actually is –
just a whole lot of people who, like us, are all children of God, which truly
means they’re family. In other words, a church isn’t just a place we go every
week with the expectation that everyone is like-minded, have the same tastes in
everything and are all lovely people we want to be neighbours with.
Instead what we have is a motley family where God’s children
come in all shapes and sizes, a whole variety of socio-economic backgrounds,
different cultures and so on. The church will be so drastically different from
one to the next that we would be remiss to assume they’re all identical. When
we visit different countries and then attend churches there, we remind
ourselves that we’re as different as we’re the same because no matter how
diverse our upbringing can be, we are all Christians at heart.
Paul said in his letter to the Galatians, “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are
all one in Christ Jesus.” (3:28)
We are to learn to love one another and to show the world what
it is to live for Christ. It may be tough but it is an amazing task that only
God could have conceived because only He knows how some of these people could
turn out to be the nicest we’ll ever get to meet.
THREE: Christians are intolerant of others
There is this idea that when a person becomes a Christian, he
is to condemn those who aren’t. In other words, we are expected to be
intolerant of other faiths and by doing so, we assert the position that we are
right and everybody else is wrong. We get to go to heaven but they won’t.
Just because we are Christians, that does not mean we are
compelled to accept that every other religion is entirely wrong through and
through. It is because of this misconceived view that we are often labelled as
narrow-minded, unenlightened bigots.
In today’s world of ‘moral relativism,’
everyone is expected to believe that all faiths are worthy of equal respect
even though the same relativist might struggle to explain some of the outright
contradictions that exist among the different religions.
Tolerance can be defined very differently depending on who we
ask but broadly speaking, it is the capacity to acknowledge that someone can
have a dissimilar view and that we respect their beliefs and practices. There
is no problem for Christians to accept that there are others with their values
and opinions that may not be ours and we can remain civil about it.
It is important to note that even as we are tolerant of
something, we can simultaneously disagree with them. In other words, we can
agree to disagree but not to behave disagreeably. In the quietness of our own
moments, we can remind ourselves what former avowed atheist C.S. Lewis said
about this subject:
“Being a Christian
does mean thinking that where Christianity differs from other religions,
Christianity is right and they are wrong. As in arithmetic, there is only one
right answer to a sum… but some of the wrong answers are much nearer being
right than others.”
The expectation to be tolerant is what defines us as
Christians. We should be able to even live in a neighbourhood where the
families next door to us may be of vastly different religious persuasions. Christians
know that Jesus Christ is a God whose glowing light is freely available to
everyone everywhere regardless of where we live and work and with that in mind,
we must all acknowledge that all truth and all love can also be found in other
faiths and beliefs too.
As Christians, the light of God is firmly centred on the
person of Jesus Christ. No one else is like Him. No one has beaten death the
way He has. No other faiths or religions possess someone like Him. So even if
we are to be tolerant, accepting and respecting of the views of others, as
Christians, we know we have someone special, unique and exclusive and that someone
is Christ.
FOUR: Everyone mocks Christians
To the outside world, we are the fundamentalists. According to
the online Urban Dictionary (urbandictionary.com), the word ‘fundamentalist’ is
defined as follows:
“…a person who takes their (sic) religion so literally and to
such extremes that they contradict the very basis of their (sic) faith. They
(sic) also have ridiculous, childish defences to intelligent criticism of their
(sic) beliefs that border on insanity. The level of hypocrisy and stupidity most
of these people exhibit is truly profound.”
Not surprisingly if any reader reads the rest of it, it’s
obvious the definition is purely aimed at Christianity and no other faith.
Unlike a few decades back, Christians today are considered
religious fanatics, Bible-bashers, Jesus freaks or plain weirdos. We are
constantly persecuted in whatever way possible and in almost every part of the
world. Young Christians in American universities go through torrid times as
they are pressured to denounce their faith and proclaim that either God is dead
or He never existed. In Malaysia, new churches cannot display crosses on the
outside of their builders lest Muslims get ‘confused.’
When I tell my friends back in Australia that my direction in
life has changed dramatically because of my faith, I get perplexed and confused
looks as if something seriously wrong had happened to me and they were
concerned. Even my brother wondered what had gone wrong that I turned out this
way. Most people don’t see the positive side in what Christ has done in our
lives and in most cases, they don’t even want to know. They ignore how much
more fulfilled you might feel or that you appear more vibrant and satisfied.
And yet while they mock us in whatever way they can, we all
know that we haven’t become religious freaks because to us, the religion in
itself is simply a way for us to know Christ and enjoy our relationship with
Him. It is, in other words, not an end in itself. Christianity is not about
religiosity but instead, it is about our permanent and eternal life with
Christ. When all is said and done with the persecution we face, consider Jesus’
words in Matthew 5:11-12 where He says:
“God blesses you when
people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and utter all kinds of evil
against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great
in heaven.”
FIVE: To be a Christian means sacrifice
The grim truth that hits many new Christians right where it
hurts is the part about sacrifice. Jesus has said that to follow Him is to
expect the worst possible:
“If any of you wants to
be My follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily and
follow Me.” (Mt 16:24)
In Mark 10 is a story of how a rich man asked Jesus what he
needed to do to “inherit eternal life” (v.17). Jesus cited the commandments (v.20)
and the man said those weren’t a problem since he’d been obeying them from
young. Then Jesus said, “There is still
one thing you haven’t done,” (v.21) as if reading his mind. Probably
startled by it all, he listened as He said to him, “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and
you still have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me” (ibid).
Such sacrifice isn’t just confined to the Bible. In real life,
countless Christians had to jump through the toughest hoops of their lives.
There are Christians who failed in their jobs because they refused to tow lies
to protect the companies they worked for.
There are those who are sued for what
they belief in such as the case in Oregon, USA where Christian bakers were
ordered by court to pay damages because they refused to sell a gay couple a
wedding cake. And because they refused to make such payment, they preferred to close
their business down. The same happened in Texas and Colorado a year later.
Recently this year, a Belfast baker also refused under identical circumstances.
In the Middle-East, the price to pay is often far higher where
Christians who did not renounce their faith in Christ are either shot in the
head or beheaded by Muslims. This includes not just men but women and children.
Christian women who survived under Muslim terrorist subjugation are often raped
repeatedly and girls are sold off as sex slaves.
I read a true story on the Internet of how a group of friends
chose to work with street kids even despite being warned that they might get
their silver stolen and catch hepatitis. In retrospect, that was exactly what
happened – their silver was stolen and they did contract the disease. Yet there
was neither regret nor complains. As Christians, they knew full well the
sacrifice they were called to undergo and the work they did was apparently
‘amazing.’
Whatever so-called liberties that Christians ‘enjoy’ in the
Western world is but an aberration and even so, by the looks of it, it’s
certainly not going to last. The persecution outside of America includes
Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, Sweden and much of Europe itself. Apart from
the Middle East, Christians are not having an easy time in many parts of Asia
as well.
The point is when we decide to follow Jesus, we already know
there will be sacrifices that each of us is called to make. Don’t be surprised
that many lose the respect and support of their own families and friends
because they chose the way of Christ. But in following Jesus, we should pay far
closer attention at the part that says, “…and
you still have treasure in heaven.” (Mk 10:21) We must continue to keep our
eyes on the life promised on the other side of such sacrifices, a life that is
forever and beyond death.
Jesus’ words in Luke 18:29-30 resonate so poignantly here
where He says to all of us, “…I assure
you that everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or
children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God will be repaid many times over in
this life and will have eternal life in the world to come.”
SIX: Christians cede control of their
lives
Non-Christians have zero concept of this. To lose control of
our lives is anathema in modern society. Everywhere, society teaches that we
must be in control of our own destiny and that we make our own success as a
result. Control, control, control – that is one of, if not the most compelling
aspect of modern life that is necessary for everyone.
To even suggest that Christians are not in charge of their own
destiny as we surrender our lives to Christ is way too radical for many to wrap
their heads around. No one outside the realm of Christianity understands the
idea of giving up on our own dreams or choice of career or even a seemingly
wonderful ‘perfect’ relationship. Instead you’d find enough people who consider
us insane or simply out of touch with reality.
Marrying my wife might seem like an easy thing to do but it
wasn’t. The sacrifices that had to be made on both our sides were plentiful and
often painful as well. Because of the massive difference in age between the two
us, we face potential ostracism in a country with such a conservative culture.
In fact for our wedding, no one from my wife’s family attended.
On my side,
there was (and still is) the constant stigmatism wherever we went whether it
was a shopping centre, a restaurant or anywhere for that matter. It didn’t
surprise us one bit when we hear people who don’t know us give us derogatory
labels. And we know we have to constantly deal with such issues even as our
kids grow up, aware that they too will need to understand.
My wife and I went through all of this, knowing that it was
God who brought us together. Just that fact alone gave us our much-needed strength
and wisdom to battle through each day early in our married life. Did all the
pressure undermine us? Not much now but at times in the past, it did. However,
knowing that in the end, we ceded control of our lives to God gave us a rare
sense of peace that when He is in control, nothing would go wrong anymore. In
fact, it enabled us to be calmer and more assured of our marriage.
Unbelievers often ask why we Christians choose to do such a
thing and our answer is because Jesus is an amazing teacher – the Great
Teacher, the One singularly best qualified to teach us about our lives and to
tell us what to do. In John 6:22, Jesus talked about how He was the Bread of
Life “that came down from heaven” (v.41) to which the people were confused and
often in disagreement.
It got worse when He spoke about having eternal life only by
eating the flesh of the Son of Man and drinking His blood (v.53). Many of those
who came to listen to Jesus, soon left probably in a daze (v.66). At this
point, He asked His twelve disciples, “Are
you also going to leave?” (v.67)
Peter replied on behalf of the others, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.
We believe, and we know You are the Holy One of God.” (vv.68-69)
SEVEN: At this rate, no one can cope
While it’s fairly easy to get baptised, learning to walk the
talk as a Christian is where the ‘trouble’ begins. This is when new Christians
get to find out about the truth of life in Christ. By now, the six issues
raised here will have caused much dismay.
Conceptually, the Christian idea sounds great, attractive
even, but in reality, many throw their hands in the air and give up. It’s just
way too difficult for normal people
to cope. The fact that Jesus wants us to do that for the rest of our lives is
the ultimate deal breaker for so many people who say they’re disillusioned by
Christianity.
So here’s the problem. Some ‘progressive’ churches choose to
water down the Christian gold standard in order to make it ‘easier’ for young
Christians to cope with their struggles. But for us, all of these concerns have
a genuine legitimacy in wanting to be Christ-like and in desiring the promise
God has made for all of us to claim and that is, eternal life. We know about
the sacrifice and we are up for it. We don’t want the church to dilute the
truth; we just want God to be the One in control.
Having said that, whatever struggles we go through, God
obviously knows and the point of fact that many labour to understand is that He
has given us enough resources to overcome, let alone cope. You might ask what
they are but the answers are not far from our noses.
When we become Christians, we are welcomed into the family of
God. Christ is our brother. God the Father calls us His children. We live with
extraordinary privileges because we have direct access to God. We have the most
powerful weapon no one can ever take away from us – our ability to pray. Couple
that to God’s promise to hear all our prayers, this is an incredible family to
be part of.
The family itself may be a hotchpotch of many different people
under Christ. Many of them we might not even get to know. Some might not rub us
the right way. Some others might be a little too weird for us. But there will
be some whom we will get to know, strike powerful fellowships with and be close
enough to share our joys and sorrows, questions and answers including our
doubts. We’ll find enough people who would want to come together with us to
study the Bible and pray together as well as for one another. This resource
alone is compelling enough but there is more.
Another resource that I can think of is best elucidated by the
98th Archbishop of Canterbury, William Temple (1881-1944) who, in John Stott’s Radical Disciple, said:
“It’s no good giving me a play like Hamlet or King Lear and telling me
to write a play like that. Shakespeare could do it; I can’t.
“And it is no good showing me a life like the life of Jesus and
telling me to live a life like that. Jesus could do it; I can’t.
“But if the genius of Shakespeare could come and live in me,
then I should write plays like this.
“And if the Spirit of Jesus could come and live in me, then I
could live a life like His.”
Stott’s conclusion thereafter was, “God’s purpose is to make us like Christ, and God’s way is to fill us
with His Holy Spirit.”
Source: Stott, John (Jan 2010). Radical Disciple (ch. Christlikeness). Downers Grove, Illinois:InterVarsity
Press.
Just as Temple said, we could never hope to emulate Christ
unless, by some miracle, the Spirit of Jesus comes and dwells within our
character and transforms our personalities, influences our minds, inspires our
hearts and fires our imagination, then there is every likelihood that we can be
extraordinary followers of Jesus.
And that, in gist, is the all-important resource that God has
given us so we can cope with the things Jesus has called upon us to take up our
crosses – the Spirit of Jesus, the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit. It is this
Spirit that breathes life into everything we do to follow in the steps of
Christ. When we’re weak, the Spirit strengthens and renews us. When we’re
confused, it is the Spirit that guides us through and leads us out of our fog.
When we fall, the Spirit is there to lift us up and put us back on the walk. It
is this same Spirit that will make sure that nothing is too difficult for us to
manage.
In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul writes in his letter, “The temptations in your life are no different
from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the
temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show
you a way out so that you can endure.”
In the apostle Paul’s mission, he and his companions were given
very harsh tests as they endeavoured to take the Good News into new but untried
areas. And along the way, the difficulties were getting so close to
insurmountable. He wrote, “We were
crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would
never live through it. In fact, we expected to die” (2 Cor 1:8-9). The
phrase ‘beyond our ability to endure’ suggests that Paul was at the end of the
tether with no hope to survive. It was one bargain too far.
Our own ability to overcome our struggles is not much
different and if we keep on relying on our own mortal resources, then we will
sink asunder. Paul speaks of the truth that true strength to endure does not
come from ourselves but from God:
“But as
a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who
raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us
again. We have placed our confidence in Him and He will continue to rescue us.”
(2 Cor 9-10)
In God’s power, nothing can tempt us, no tragedies can befall
us and nothing can overcome us. Through Christ, our victories are assured. Life
may not be easy – God didn’t say it would be – but in Christ, there is always the ‘ability to endure’ because
‘He will rescue us.’ No matter the difficulty, we can face it off, confident
that God will always deliver.
One truth that draws us to Christ
Even with these seven obstacles to becoming a Christian, just
One Reason is enough to overturn all of them – God.
This is the God of Creation. He created all of us. He is also
the God who loves us. As our Creator, His love is more complete than anything
we experience in our mortal lives. His love is deeper than we can ever hope to
imagine. And the greatest part of it all is that though we are sinners, He still
loves us so overwhelmingly.
With all this boundless love that God has for all of us, He
yearns for our hearts and minds to love Him, to fellowship with Him and to bond
with Him in an everlasting relationship. And in such a covetous and privileged
relationship, God seeks to teach us His ways, show us His kingdom and reveal to
us His promises.
No worldly endeavour can compare with what God can show us in
our lives. No earthly possession, no matter how glamorous or exclusive can
hold a wick to what God has in store for us. Nothing in this world prepares us
for the greatest journey of our lifetime. It is this very adventure that we are
all made to live and die for.
You may have unwittingly just become a Christian. Or you may
be one who is now looking for a new church to make a home out of. The seven
obstacles are as real as can be. You may find one or some or all of them intact
in the church you have just experienced and you may have been jolted out of
your stupor but if you are drawn to the One Truth, that One Reason why all of
those obstacles are moot, then you will understand the value of becoming a true
follower of Jesus and why we are to the world, a terribly misunderstood lot.
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